The Breaking Dawn!

Thursday, March 01, 2012

"A Word to the Wise is Sufficient."



Jojo's trip to the dentist was enlightening.  Up until this point we have been living in the bubble I like to call "Preschool Autism".  Basically this consists of our therapy sessions, family time and very controlled social situations.  There are not many variables and the few that are there are relatively easy to buffer.  But as Lil' Galileo quickly approaches his 5th birthday it is time to really put his skills (and ours) to the test!  Somedays this can be immensely rewarding...and others it can break you to tears with overwhelming fears of failure.  But that doesn't change the fact that it must be done!  How else would you know what works, what doesn't and what its time to move on to?   So, it was interesting to see Jo's reactions in a very invasive and unpredictable social setting.  It was a  relief to know that he, to the best degree we could expect, was able to handle the visit.  Now, several factors played into that, so Jo asked me to have y'all jot them down.....just FYI!

Firstly, when I booked the appointment I told the receptionist that Jo has autism...point blank, no beating around the bush.  PLEASE don't sabotage well meaning professionals who are trying to give your child the best service possible with the old, "My child is a little sensitive." or "He can be a bit high strung.", song and dance.  You are setting everyone up for failure.  Please do not expect people in public to simply "pick up" on your child's autism or developmental delay.  That is so unfair.  If you can't be brave enough to risk them "judging" your parenting or your child's abilities because you have to shoot this label their way, then you may not truly be owning the autism in the first place.  You can't take power over what you won't own up to.  So, before booking the time I explained Jo's sensitivities and asked if they were experienced in such cases.  After giving me the green light, we locked him in!

Secondly, Devon and I went together.  If you are a single parent, I suggest bringing another person with whom your child is comfortable.  If married, both parents should be there so that they can co-manage a meltdown if it occurs.  If the visit goes without incident, then both parents can reinforce the good behavior.  Also, both parents can learn at the same time what to do (or not do) in these scenarios.  These are the moments when you learn who your child really is!  You don't want to miss that!

Thirdly, it helps to work with a professional who understands your child's challenges and actually wants to be involved in helping with his transitions!  Our dentist actually volunteered to have us bring Jo in every 3 months so he could ride in the chair, have the light shone on him, listen to and touch the various instruments and go through a mock procedure (if none were needed)!  SAY WHAT?!  Then he allowed me to take pictures of himself next to the patient chair and pictures of the instruments so that we could post them on a visual calandar for Jo.  This way, he would not forget the dentist and could mark the days until his next visit!  SAY WHAT??!!  That's right, y'all!  There are professionals out there who are willing to work with you to provide manageble, if not progressive, environments for your child to transition in to mainstream situations!  That is.....IF they know that your child has autism and how that affects him or her.  I know you don't want anyone to label your child.  I know their autism doesn't define them.  But if a label will help persons navigate a disorder that scientists, doctors and psychologists still don't fully understand, then let me (the parent) be the one to give them permission to use the "A" word!  After all, its about prepping the world to deal with Jo as much as prepping him to deal with the world.  That is a parent's function.

So....what's my point here?  Well, I guess what I learned from Jo's Date with Destiny is the same lesson that we keep learning with every new or relived experience:  Nothing is ever certain...but do your best to prepare like it is.  No child can ask for more.

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